Game of Thrones: Mhysa

If ever there were an episode of a television show that proved wholly anticlimactic, it was last nights Game of Thrones.  In fairness to HBO, it was a perfectly adequate episode, and what they’re doing is necessary.  Because Martin jumps all over the place with his characters (some of them disappearing entirely for a book or two - I’ll get to that in a minute), there is great deal of setting up you have to do, plot-wise.  I see why they wanted to go ahead and establish that Jaime and Brienne were back at King’s Landing.  That will be important for next season, because Jaime’s presence at King’s Landing plays a significant role in the events to come, particularly those involving Tyrion.  But, I’ll get to those spoilers in a minute.

I don’t recall Arya stabbing anyone to death in the books after The Red Wedding, but maybe she did.  I was so shell-shocked after the wedding itself, that I doubt I’d have noticed if she did.  I’m sure I approved, though.  I’d have stabbed the bastards, too.  Arya holding up the coin Jaqen H’ghar gave her and saying “valar morghulis” was extremely foreshadowing, if you’ve read the series, so they’re clearly setting that up early on.  Which is weird, because that part of Arya’s story line doesn’t get kick started until the end of Storm of Swords, I thought, but Game of Thrones has got me so turned around with doing time lines so crazy, I might be wrong.

Dani’s victory in freeing all of the slaves is a big deal, but get ready to watch her sit... and sit... and sit... and still not have marched on Westeros by the fifth book.  My frustration with Dani knows no bounds.

Jon Snow got shot in the back by Ygritte!  Which didn’t happen exactly that way.  She doesn’t shoot him in the back/shoulder, she just shoots him in the leg.  But she does shoot him, and can we really be surprised by that?  Ygritte is a wilding to the core.  And, if I remember correctly, as touching as the “I love you, you love me,” conversation was, that never happened.  But, still.  Oh, Ygritte.

 What else?  Oh! Tywin is being a dick (shocker) to Tyrion, and basically tells him he wanted to drown him as a baby, but let him live because he was a Lannister.  I guess that means Tyrion won’t be getting that Best Dad in Westeros t-shirt for him.  Cersei is ever a bitch, but I feel sorry for Cersei occasionally, because she really has been handicapped by her gender.  Can you imagine if she were a man?  She’d just rule everything and everyone.  She would be ruthless. 

Also, I can’t tell you how much I enjoy Tywin constantly taking Joffrey to task.  Sending him to bed without supper, while Joffrey is throwing a tantrum and insisting that he isn’t tired.  That little barbed threat that Tyrion threw at Joffrey will turn out to be a big problem for him (Tyrion) later on.

On that note, TO THE SPOILERS!  I’ll go ahead and start with that.  I’m enjoying all of the subtle foreshadowing going on in this last episode.  It wasn’t nearly as heart pumping as The Rains of Castamere, but you can’t murder three main characters every show.  Tyrion’s comment to Joffrey at the Small Council meeting is going to come back to bite him in the ass later on, because Joffrey is, to much rejoicing of the fandom, I should think, going to get himself dead.  Yep!  Just after his wedding to Margaery Tyrell, no less, which is rather fitting considering the tone of the last wedding we saw.  He’s poisoned and keels over at the wedding reception.  Goes all black and green and chokey.

So, of course, Cersei is devastated (probably moreso in the books than on the show - you’d almost think she’d be relieved, the way Joffrey is on the show) and immediately blames Tyrion.  They throw him into the dungeon and decide to have a trial for him, which ends up going poorly, as you might imagine.  He is testified against by Shae, of all people (which is just heartbreaking).  A lot happens that I won’t detail, then Tyrion escapes from the dungeon, decides to shoot Tywin through the gut with a crossbow on this way out (while he’s on the john, no less) and just so happens to discover Shae sleeping in Tywin’s bed.  So, he strangles her to death with the Hand of the King chain (which doesn’t exist in the show, so maybe he’ll stab her with the pointy end of the pin?).  And off goes Tyrion across the ocean.

Theon Greyjoy, on the show, is being ruthlessly tortured by Ramsay Snow (Bolton) because sociopath. In the book, Theon is actually absent from the sack of Winterfell on.  You kind of assume he’s dead for a long while, and then suddenly you’re getting perspective chapters from someone named Reek, whom you discover to be the broken remains of Theon Greyjoy.  At first, when all of this with Theon Was happening, I was really confused as to why they were totally fabricating this story.  Then, I realized (with a little help from a fellow fan) that they were taking the part of Theon’s story that we aren’t privy to - the part where he becomes Reek - and showing it to us.  I imagine this was to keep Alfie Allen employed, more than anything.  I’m sure they’d hate to recast Theon if Alfie had gotten another T.V. gig elsewhere during the several seasons that his character would be gone.

Gilly and Sam are cute as ever, and if I recall, their story line is basically right.  I'm not as interested in their characters as others (although I do love Sam) and their story doesn't really get good and interesting until later, when they leave Castle Black to go somewhere else with Aemon Targaryen and there's a baby swapping plot and Mance Rayder is involved and it's a little crazy.

Basically, hats off to a great season, I'd say.  They've set the stage for the second half of Storm of Swords very well, so I'm excited for next season, especially since Joffrey and Tywin both die, so the playing field (as far as murdered family members) is leveled somewhat for the Starks and Lannisters, even if it was a Lannister who murdered one of the other Lannisters.  Petryr Baelish, if I'm not mistaken, is the mastermind behind Joffrey's demise.  But, no one figures that out and he sails off to The Eyrie with Sansa where he will eventually throw Lysa Arryn out of the moon door.

Because it was way past time for someone to do that.

Game of Thrones: The Rains of Castamere

As sick as this sounds, I've seriously been waiting for The Red Wedding for the entirety of season three.  Not because I was excited to watch Robb and Catelyn Stark be brutally murdered, but because my husband never finished reading Storm of Swords.  He was so close to it.  He says he remembers talk of Edmure Tully marrying Roslin Frey to smooth over things after Robb Stark went and fucked it all up with Jeyne Westerling.  But, that's the last he recalls.

So close.

So, you can imagine the anticipation I've been in all season, wondering when The Red Wedding would feature.  I can't lie, I was mildly surprised that they didn't save it for the season finale.  I had fully expected them to, and the end of The Rains of Castamere was exactly how I had anticipated they'd end the season.  So, I'm very interested to see what next week brings.

But, this isn't about next week.  This is about Sunday.  The Day the Starks Died.

You can't help comparing the show to the books, if you've read them.  Being that I have, and I knew what was coming, I spent the entire episode up until the last fifteen minutes or so biting my nails and trying to keep a straight face and not fidget too much in my chair.  I thought HBO did such a good job of lulling everyone into a false sense of security.  Things with Dani ultimately went well, even if Ser Jorah was ruthlessly friendzoned.  Arya threatened to stab the Hound in the face, Edmure ended up with a smokin' hot wife, Bran superworged Hodor and we had some tears at Rickon's surprise soliloquy, but it wasn't too bad, and it was for his own good.  Gilly told Sam he was a wizard because he can read.  Jon Snow ran off and left Ygritte, which I'm sure jerked on some heartstrings.  All in all, a fairly typical Game of Thrones, right?

Except for the murdering.

In the books, Catelyn makes a super big deal out of the fact that everyone has to be sure to eat Walder Frey's food and take his drink.  This is because, once they've done that, they are guests in this house and it would basically be really bad form to slaughter them all, or something silly like that.  The first thing you notice in Catelyn's chapter (wherein there is much massacreing) that seems amiss is how god awful the minstrels are.  She goes so far as to remark on how she can't tell what song they're playing.  On the show, however, Catelyn says something about the minstrels being good.  In the book, you're sort of like, "Huh... I wonder why she chose to tell us how bad the music is.  Whatever.  WEDDING FEAST!"  Roose Bolton is totally there in the books, and he's totally sitting next to Catelyn, but it isn't him she finds the chainmail on.  It's what's-his-face-Frey who goes to shut the doors before all the killin'.  She grabs his arm, realizes he's wearing chain mail and has a definite "Oh shit" moment.

But, that's okay.  I thought they did that just fine on the show.  In the books, just as on the show, Catelyn has her second "Oh shit" moment when she realizes that the God Awful Minstrels of the Twins are playing "The Rains of Castamere."  This is bad if you know your Westerosi history because, A.) it's typically associated with the Lannsters, which is because B.) they fucking killed all of House Reyne in a bloody massacre.

Oh shit is right, Lady Stark.

There's also the fact that Catelyn bitchslaps Roose Bolton, which does happen in the book, except that it isn't Roose, it's still what's-his-name-Frey.  

As most people know, Talisa is not a character in the books.  She was created specifically for the show and, up until this episode, I had really wondered why.  Robb married Jeyne Westerling in the book, and he did it because he loved her and also probably because she was smokin' hot. Jeyne is not only never pregnant with Robb's child in the book, but she isn't even present at The Red Wedding.  So, I'm guessing HBO dreamed up Talisa for some gratuitous violence.  How can you make audiences desensitized by a crossbow bolt to Ros' crotch still cringe?  Stab a pregnant woman multiple times in the abdomen to complete, stunned silence.  And, holy shit, that was pretty brutal.  Of course, I also felt like it was pretty needless  I like Talisa okay, for a Character That Never Happened, but her violent death was really unnecessary and it came across as if her character had only been created because HBO decided they wanted to go all Roman Polansky's house at The Twins.

Aside from that, however, I thought the rest of the scene was well done.  Robb's death was pretty accurate.  Except that Roose Bolton doesn't say, "The Lannisters send their regards," in the book.  He says, "Jaime Lannister sends his regards."  I'm not sure why they changed that, unless they're not wanting everyone to hate on Jaime, so they removed it.  But, Catelyn gets a knife and snatches up, not Walder Frey's wife, but his simple-minded grandson, Jinglebell (or Aegon Frey).  I cannot even tell you how horrible I felt for Jinglebell in that scene.  God, it was awful.

On the show, of course, Catelyn grabs Walder's wife and tells him she'll slit the woman's throat if he doesn't let Robb go.  And, Walder Frey being Walder Frey, is basically like, "I have no fucks to give, woman," and has Robb killed.  I saw some complaints of "over acting" on Michelle Fairley's part in the show, and I would just like to point out that in the books, Catelyn goes a little insane and starts laughing maniacally, to the point that one of the Frey guys is like, "Um... I think maybe she's crazy."

She slits Jinglebell's throat (oh, poor Jinglebell) and then has her own throat slit for her.  But let me interject this.  Last night, I was talking to a friend of mine about how I didn't necessarily think that the books were more brutal than the show.  I used examples of Ros' death, which never happened, and of Talisa's death, which never happened.  However, emotionally, I might be wrong there.  I had completely forgotten about the fact that George R.R. Martin is a sadistic bastard.  Seriously.  Look at this:

It hurts so much, she thought, Our children, Ned, all our sweet babes.  Rickon, Bran, Arya, Sansa, Robb . . . Robb . . . please, Ned, please, make it stop, make it stop hurting . . . The white tears and the red ones ran together until her face was torn and tattered, the face that Ned had loved.  Catelyn Stark raised her hands and watched the blood run down her long fingers, over her wrists, beneath the sleeves of her gown.  Slow red worms crawled along her arms and under her clothes.  It tickles. That made her laugh until she screamed.  "Mad," someone said, "she's lost her wits," and someone else said , "Make an end," and a hand grabbed her scalp just as she'd done with Jinglebell, and she thought, No, don't, don't cut my hair, Ned loves my hair.  Then the steel was at her throat, and its bite was red and cold.

- Storm of Swords, Catelyn, Pg 122

When I got to the part about her hair, I almost lost it, man.  What is wrong with you, George Martin?  You sick bastard.  So, I guess, in that sense, the book is more brutal that the show.  But, they still did a pretty good job of conveying the betrayal of House Stark.

Now, we'll have to see if they actually sew Grey Wind's head onto Robb's body, because damn that might have been worse than the rest of it.