Thursday, May 15, 2014

Once Upon a Time: Season 3 Finale

So, the finale.  There were things I loved about the finale, things I was indifferent to and things I hated.  We’ll start with the things I loved.  First and foremost, and probably most obvious, Emma and Hook!  Finally!  I’ll admit, I was initially skeptical of this ship.  I liked Neal, back when he was alive, and the idea of a rekindled romance with Emma was sort of sweet, especially since he was Henry’s dad.  However, as time wore on (particularly after Season Three in which Hook and Emma make out for second on Peter Pan’s Death Island) I became more and more supportive of the Emma/Hook pairing.  And then Neal died and all our wishes came true!

Hooray!

Let's just revel in that for a moment, shall we?  Yes, let's.




Ah, that's better.  OTPs coming to fruition are a beautiful thing.  Of course, everyone seems to have sort of forgotten about Neal relatively quickly, but whatever.  I can live with that.  He sold his ship to find her.  Neal never sold a fucking ship.  Fuck Neal.  Moving on.

The whole Back to the Future vibe throughout the episode was a lot of fun.  Also, I think it as cool for Emma to be able to see all of these people she knows in their natural environments.  She got to see her parents fall in love, got to see Rumpelstiltskin in all his weird, glittery glory, got to see Belle in the early stages of her affection for Rumpel, etc.  And she got to kick around with Hook the entire time!  Ten points to Gryffindor the writers!

I was relatively indifferent to the marriage of Rumpel and Belle, speaking of.  I felt like I should have been more d'awwww, but I just wasn't.  I mean, I guess it was a long time in the making and it was sort of sweet and all, but you know Belle’s going to find out that the dagger he gave her is a fake and she’s going to want a fairy divorce, or something.  I know they had to get rid of Zelena (who I was very sad to see go, I might add) but did it have to be Rumpel again?  Can’t this guy just catch a break and be decent for a good, long while?  I was vaguely annoyed by his rambling on at the wedding about how he couldn't understand what Belle saw in him and why she loved him, yadda yadda, after having done the exact opposite of what he’d promised Belle he’d do, and lying to her about the dagger, to boot.

Yeah, none of us can understand why she loves your lying ass either, Rumpel.

Also, I enjoyed Hook punching himself in the face because he was making out with Emma.  That was the weirdest, cutest bit of jealousy I’ve seen in a while.

I hated, absolutely hated the fact that the chick in Regina’s dungeon turned out to be Marian.  Did not see that one coming, like at all.  And I am pissed off, man.  Finally, FINALLY Regina has learned to love again and has her heart, etc.  She’s not a bad guy anymore and actually saved the town by breaking the curse with Henry and so forth.  She and Emma are getting along as well as can be expected, given the circumstances, she’s been helping the Charmings and then BOOM.  Boyfriend’s dead wife shows up and he is overwhelmed with happiness.  Way to go, Emma.  Life ruiner.

And now the flux capacitor is busted and I’m all out of plutonium, so we’ll never be able to get up to 1.21 gigawatts of power to send that bitch back to hell from whence she came.  Nice going.

I guess with the elation of a well deserved ship being made canon, they had to throw us a curve ball that sort of ripped out hearts out.  Shocker that Regina gets to be the punching bag for that.  So, now we find ourselves sort of back to the beginning.  It seems inevitable that Regina is going to struggle all next season with good vs. evil.  We know she's capable of good - she defeated Zelena with it.  But, this is twice, now, that she's suffered in love and you have to wonder - can Regina ever just be happy?  It's like she The Doctor, or something.

But, I was still riding pretty high on Hook and Emma, and waiting excitedly for next season's villain to be introduced.  Oh, look!  There's that vase thingy.  I figured that might be important.  Okay, blue stuff is spilling out into Zelena's witch portal floor carvings.  Okay, a figure is taking shape.  She's wearing a blu-... wait a second, is that a braid?  Did she just hand flare ice curly q's?  Is that...?

What the fuck.  

I love Frozen to distraction, really.  I know all of the songs, I love Olaf and Elsa.  I love it.  But, this seemed like such blatant pandering that is seriously irritated me.  I mean, they could have done Maleficent.  Why aren't they doing Maleficent?!  I know the movie is about to come out and everything, but Maleficent is an established Disney villain.  She's been around since 1959, kids.  She's old school and she's fucking awesome.  Plus, Maleficent is a villain.  Elsa isn't really a villain, she's just a poor, dumb kid who can't control her ice powers.

I realize they're trying to ride out the popularity of Frozen, but what the hell are you going to do with Elsa to make her a villain?  I know they change the stories a lot (Peter Pan, for example) but... I mean, don't kids watch Once Upon a Time?  My daughter likes to watch it with me sometimes, because it's pretty family oriented and usually not particularly scary.  If they turn Elsa into a bad guy, though, I won't be able to let her watch, because Frozen is one of her favorite movies, right now, and she won't get it.

That entirely aside, though, it just struck me as exceptionally pandering and silly.  Disney has tons of established villains that we would all have been happy with (did I mention Maleficent?)  and, instead, OUaT decided to ride the coattails of Frozen's success and just beat a dead horse with it.

I watch enough Frozen around my house as it is.  I don't want it bleeding over into my other T.V. shows, man.




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